I have some things to blog about but somehow I don't feel very chatty. I have been to a craft show and will write about that another time. My problem is that we have been helping my mother to move. I have come to realise that my mother has a very serious problem and I doubt that we will see it solved. Her problem - well, she keeps everything. I have had arguments with her about keeping old magazines, paper, plastic bags,curtain clips and things that should have been rubbish twenty years ago. You name it - she has kept it, and expected us to move it. Her new place which is is a nice new duplex in an retirement village is full and over flowing. She cannot park her car in the garage. And nothing we can say seems to get though that she will have a health hazard - both through dust and tripping problems. I could go on and on....
One thing which has come out out of all this is the realisation that I carry a lot of her thought patterns around in my head as well, and I need to do something so that I don't have this problem when I am older. I know that over the past 30 years since I left home I have grown and come to understand the issues that seem to be my legacy. However I do find myself saying things to myself that I know are things that she says - the biggest one being that I might need it one day.
With the state of the things that I have seen recently I realize the need to use things up and not get into the mindset that everything could have something made out out of it, or have a use to someone. I want my mother to enjoy her life,to take pleasure in creating, not being ruled by possibilites. An example - I found an old water damaged wooden bread board which she gave me permission to throw. But the thoughts must have been working because then she wanted to find it in the pile of stuff going to the dump because she could make a coffee table out of it. After I had gone she did get it out and yes, it is now in her new place, along all the other junk. I know that she will never do anything with it. (sighs) She had a chance to let something go but could not take the step.
This is still all very muddled in my head and I will work through it. I accept that she will remain this way, much as I wish she wouldn't, and when she passes on we will have to go through all this stuff again, although it will be easier next time. All I can do is try very hard to not repeat this for my own children.
So I will be working on going through my 'treasures' and enjoying using them. My stash will still get added to but I will be tougher on myself. I also need to organise things better so I can find everything. It could take a while though....
Just a photo of something peaceful - one of my favourite birds - a Pelican.